Not sure if i can do this
Well the third is quickly approaching and honestly after the vaca i had i do not know if i can do it. I hated spending time with my mom. She is driving me up a damn wall and our relationship is crashing down and i dont even think she notices or cares. If it werent for Josh i cant say i wouldnt have been able to keep my promise to myself. However i am here for another week after the first. I dont know what to do. I do not want to be alone on the third but idk who to spend it with. No one gets how hard this day is. It will be 2 years since we lost Casey and Joe then it will be one year since we lost AJ. Part of me wants to sleep the damn day away because i cannot loose anyone else on that day. i will be on pins and needles all day. I just wish i knew what to do. I figure i will do lots of wedding stuff that day just so i dont have to think about anything else. The wedding is happy and maybe just maybe i will be able to get past it. The ice isnt freezing so they are taking a boat out to the island. I doubt i go because i cant handle it. It would be great to be with all of them but i will be thinking of Aj too and Nicole. Nicole has come so far this year and i am so proud of her. She will def be on my mind all day because it was probably the third hardest day of her life. Only reason its not one or two is because both of her parents died when she was younger so those trump it.
Rest In Peace Casey, Joe and AJ! We all love and miss you guys more and more each day. <3
