rough day… i think so
Well today was worse than any typical monday. Couldnt sleep to save my life :: Had a test that thankfully i did good on.
However, a girl here was found dead and although i did not know her my heart breaks for her roommate that found her, for her parents who are missing a daughter, for her friends that just dont understand. It sounds selfish to think this way but i have been there, i have been the person who is so confused on why and i have watched it tear my world apart. It has taken me so much to get where i am and its a struggle every day. I have so many wounds that will never heal because there will never be answers to help me understand. I will never know why someone had to go too fast, why someone drove drunk, why they just didnt slow down, why they felt the need to text and drive, or why they felt so unloved. Those answers will never be found until i meet them again someday. It has tore my world apart, i struggle daily of dealing with not knowing and not being able to know why and now my heart just hurts for these people who are feeling the same way i feel every day. I never ever wish this feeling upon anyone.
I am scared to go to work tomorrow because clearly we are going to be talking about it and honestly i cannot handle it, i cannot handle talking about young people dying, just reading the report to my mom i started crying because in my head flashes each and every one of those news reports that i read over and over, those obits that i have cut out and glance at when my day just seems horrible.
May she rest in peace and may her family, friends, and schoolmates realize that the answers will not be there but some day they will find out.
<3
