December 2010
29 posts
Cancer...
well my mom just told me the news about my grandma. The cancer is spreading and the doctors are starting her on radiation tomorrow. This will be her second battle with it and i am so scared. It came back with a lot of power this time. Nan says not to worry but she is the back bone of my family. She has always been such a strong woman and i look up to her so much i dont even know if she knows. It...
6 days
In less than a week i will have to relive one of the worst nights ever :: i am not ready for this. We are all going out on the ice to remember the two of them but really what fun is it going to be? I have to put on my big girl pants and not let my emotions get the best of me. Its going to the the first time i am going out to the site since the funeral. Worst part is, i have to do it all by myself!...
cleaning
So while i was cleaning my room and going through all my boxes from my old room i just started crying my eyes out. I didnt pack the boxes and i havent seen any of that stuff for three years now. Its crazy to think its been that long since i left this town. Every day while i am up there all i want to do is come home but now that i am home all i wanna do is go back to school. I hate it here, i fight...
Christmas
Well of course as expected today was alright. Not great but not 100% horrible. I got up and came down stairs, mom wanted to wait for charlie but i talked her into letting us do at least our stockings while we waited for him and Tiff. She was upset but really i am sorry he is slowly making his own family we cant always wait for him.
After he got here things were better. He is always so cheerful on...
..
Well i was hoping that since today was Christmas eve things would be alright :: they started out amazing. My roomie emailed me and her and i got to talk everything out. We are seriously too much a like for our own good. Hints why we fight, but thats also why we can forgive so much. I swear we are sisters and just dont know it lol.
Anyways .. Talked with her about everything, so glad i could...
where am i going?
Well everytime i think i am going to be alright, something happens and i get throw backwards.
New years is coming up, i know i skipped Christmas. I think we are going to stephs for it, going to be weird knowing that was the last party with the whole crew. So many good memories last year, so many stories that were told. UGH i hate that he is gone. I hate being home because its a constant...
burned bridges
So i cant help but laugh at the people in life that burn bridges with others and then blame the other person. Clearly no one person is at fault. Everyone has their issues, but people need to really realize, Friends are the people in life that we need the most. They are the ones who are going to help you through the thickest of events and celebrate the greatest achievements. I truly know that the...
home
Well after an amazing week and weekend i am finally home.
Saturday was Kamer Christmas. i had a great time, got to see Jenn and Aunt Chrissy. It was nice to see everyone. Shellee got me an amazing sweater dress! it is adorable and i love it. Plus she got me a nice frame that i cant wait to put pictures in and hang in my amazing room at school =]
Today was a lot of fun. Got home at one and...
Finals are done
So finals are done, i am not just redoing my room and packing my stuff :: I am so glad this semester is over. Its been a rough one with both school and friends. Next semester is going to be the best yet!
<3
Cant sleep
So yesterday was probably one of the best days in awhile :: i got everything done i really wanted too. Got all my paycheck stuff figured out, made an amazing dinner with Joshua. Spent quality time with Kyle and Vince. Plus Brooke and Tandy joined. We all had a great time playing pool. Cant wait for my daddy to teach me some so i can kick their asses! haha
I am so thankful for the real friends i...
this morning
so i woke up this morning to an empty room, it was strange. Not even a goodbye to be heard or even a note. It sounds stupid but you would think after being someones best friend for a year you would get something like that. but guess not..
The worst part of it, i about died getting down the ladder this morning because it had nothing to hold it. Thank goodness for Josh!
Other than that, i think...
Today
Well i am about to go take my only serious final. If i dont ace this then i should probably just stop school. lol jk but really it should be fine.
Kinda upset because i was suppose to have a girls afternoon with friends but they couldnt wait til after i got out so of course i got left out of going. Whatever just kinda sick of being the one always left out. But i now understand why three is a...
Weekend
So this weekend was different but a good different. Hockey games were the same but after fridays game went and chilled with Derek and his roommate and friends. It was a really good time. We just hung out and watched movies and talked. Derek was going through a lot and needed some help. I guess thats one thing i love about myself that i can always be there for a friend. Also helps when the friend...
Time to realize
I really think its time for people to realize that life isnt forever. You never know if your going to wake up to that call that someone has passed away. I feel people need to stop fighting, stop pushing people away and start fixing and mending friendships. Nothing is more important than the people in your life because without them lets all admit your life would pretty much suck. So if your moving...
looking up
So last night i had a strange dream. It was like Casey was talking to me and telling me i had to get through all of this on my own. I feel like whatever the dream was it sent a good message. Although last night i realized that i have some pretty amazing friendships ie Corey, Alex, Zack && Austin, i still cannot rely on anyone else to help me. I have a lot of great guys watching over me and...
Rest in Peace Wesley Charles Brown
So today sucked. Found out that Wes passed away. I cannot believe i have lost another friend. i really am starting to wonder why the hell God is fucking punishing me. I am trying to keep my head up but its so fucking hard when you have lost so many people. I pray to God that he helps me through this and hopefully some day i can understand why he is taking away so many good people out of this...
update
havent been on here in awhile :: things are going alright but i am still stressing.
The semester is almost over, i only have two classes left! Thank goodness. I know i got a B+ in my scwk class, which means i have a 3.5 over all gpa in scwk classes =]
Hoping i managed my C’s in both my Socy classes. Education will be a B+ or A-. so that is good. I am just happy to get things back on track....
Annoyed Beyond Belief
So currently i am upset and stressed. I have no clue what to do anymore. My birthday is suppose to be celebrated with my best friends and i am suppose to have a great time and blah blah. Well right now two of my best friends are totally talking behind my back to one another and another person and saying they are not coming and they dont care to say anything to me just to others! i am so frustrated...